More than I expected...

Well, I don't really feel like posting tonight, but I also don't have it in me to call everyone back who has called to check in on us today... it's just been a bit of an emotional day. (By the way, thank you all for your phone calls... I know you love us!!... I just know everyone is anxiously awaiting news that we're having the baby and he's just not ready yet and I'm getting tired and emotional and stressed.)

So I went to the doctor this afternoon and I had the NST first, where I sat in a comfy recliner for about 40 minutes with a fetal monitor on my belly and pushed a button every time I felt the baby move... it was just monitoring his heart rate and it all looked great. He sounds very healthy. Then I had the ultrasound. While I did get a super quick peek at his feet, hands and face, he's so squished in there that this wasn't much of a show. The ultrasound tech told us she wouldn't be able to tell us anything except for his size, that the rest would have to wait until I see my doctor (which isn't until Monday)... But her news was plenty: his estimated size as of today is 9 pounds 2 ounces!!! That was plenty for me to swallow. I was expecting high 7's to mid 8 lb range. And that's when I basically lost it. I know it'll all work out, but I'm pregnant, and emotional, and honestly, just a bit stressed today. The idea that he's already that big, and he's still hanging out in here growing doesn't exactly mesh well with my hopes for a natural delivery... and then there's the whole c-section thing that I didn't get to discuss with my doctor today and apparently I'm supposed to wait until Monday. I think I'll end up calling her tomorrow. I was prepared that he could very likely be late... even up to 10 days or so past my due date... but that was with the thought that I preferred to go into labor naturally and do it without drugs... that wasn't with the thought that he would be in the 9 to 10 lb range and that it's already likely I could need a c-section if things don't progress better.

There's a part of me that just wants to call tomorrow and say let's just go ahead and schedule a c-section for Friday and be done with it... but then I wonder if I should just give him a little more time to come on his own. I'll admit... the idea of pushing out over 9 lbs vs. a controlled c-section is a little hard to swallow, but I don't really think the c-section is preferable either. It kinda just feels like crappy options. Well, crappy options with the final result being great either way because our baby will be here.

So... that's my honest post for tonight. I'm sorry I didn't return phone calls. And really, I do know that it will all be fine, but forgive me for just having a bit of a pity party tonight... I think I'll go eat some chocolate chip pound cake. That might make me feel better, for a minute. :)