The Roller Coaster continues...

To my family and friends who read this before I get to talk to you in person.... I hope you will understand that we are going through a lot right now and it is just emotionally exhausting to explain all of these updates over the phone.  And because I am blessed with so many people who are praying for us, it's just really helpful for me to be able to update here.

So here's the latest:

We had a very disappointing doctor's appointment yesterday morning.  Hard news and still a lot of waiting.  Our tiny little baby still has a faint heartbeat (against all odds), but has had zero growth in 8 days.  That is definitely not a good thing.  Typically with no growth in over a week this early along, his/her little heart wouldn't still even be beating... so once again, nothing in this pregnancy is typical.  My doctor was very honest with us and said there is really little chance at all that this little life will continue much longer.  She knows, as do we, that sometimes miracles happen, but while that would be a great surprise, it's not what we're expecting or putting all our hope in.   The only thing we can do is wait and see.  I still have to take it easy and I will go for yet another ultrasound next week. 

I definitely wasn't expecting this news.  I knew that the polyp could eventually be a problem, but I didn't expect there to actually be a problem with the baby's development.  Even so, Mike and I both have so much peace right now.  I'm not pretending it's easy at all.   It sucks.  But we do know that God has a plan for us and for this little life no matter what.  When I consider how things could progress, it's certainly not what I would choose, but I know He has a purpose in it all and we just want to glorify Him throughout it all.   To be honest, the last thing from my mind has been "why me?" because honestly... "why not me?"  This is a difficult road that I wouldn't wish for anyone, but I know it doesn't mean that God has something against us, or that we've done anything wrong.  In ALL things, He is GOOD.  He is the definition of good... and going through tough situations that we don't understand doesn't change that one bit. 

So as hard as it is, we are waiting... and we'll see where things go.  We hope for the best, but we believe that even in the worst, there is still hope. 

Thanks for praying with us.